Dear Awful Monday,

Well, most of my Monday was good. I spent it e-mailing a few friends, vacuuming, playing polly pockets and dolls with my girls, watching my favorite show "Globetrekker" while folding laundry, and making a yummy dinner. AND then it happened....

Warning this is not for the squeamish of heart.

My nose broke loose like the Hoover Dam (imagine it - I don't think the Hoover actually did ever break - but just imagine if it ever did.)

I quickly got myself to the bathroom sink and pinched my nose. No good, blood just poured out my mouth. I was doing fine at this point, taking it in stride as this is not an absolutely un-normal occurrence for me. Ten minutes go by, 15, 20....by the 30 minute mark, I'm starting to feel a bit anxious. Do you know that feeling? And then by 40 minutes, I think I'm having a full blown anxiety attack which makes my nose bleed more. Damn, I'm a mess at this point. I don't think that anyone else besides Jeff would have really noticed how much I was actually freaking out. It takes everything within me and Beyond me to breath and calm my mind down. I get anxious because my mind races to when this happened before....about 3 years ago....tampons shoved up my nose....and it hurt like hell. I'd rather have a baby. At about the 45 minute mark, I was rational again, and I just know that it wasn't gonna stop bleeding on it's own. Ok, Jeff take me to the doctor.

Jeff drove me to our nearest Prime Care - they were so kind and got me in to the doctor right away...there was not even an open room for me, but the doctor came to me anyway. He didn't want to waste my time if he couldn't stop the bleeding. (It wasn't coming from the front of my nose, but way the heck up in there by my maxillary sinus.) He thought about sending us over to the hospital. The doc decided that he could take care of me. Jeff and I are - and our pocket book is - so thankful of his decision.

He sprayed so Afrin up my nose, put some gauze in there, and then pinched it off. To no avail. Sorry, we're gonna have to use a "Rhino Rocket." Wonderful. Now I'm feeling whoosy and sick to my stomach, so do whatever to make this better. Ready? He has me take some deep breaths and then shoves what seems to be a 6 foot gauze covered pencil up my nose. Kidding, it's only about 4 inches long or so. You try jamming even 4 inches up your nose once. It wasn't as bad as I remembered; at least this little contraption gets inflated once it's up there. It's not just a big fat thing shoved up into my brain. I look like I have a feeding tube coming out of my nose.

I took some Ambien last night---Jeff says I sounded like a lumber mill all night long. I think I slept pretty good.

And now I sit and wait. I'm waiting rather impatiently for the ENT office to call me back. Whatdoyaknow? MY doctor is not in the office today. Dr. Peter, what are you doing? I need you to get this out of my head...pronto.

I was going to take a picture for you, but I decided that takes away any amount of vanity that I have left. It's ugly.

I have nothing else to say, nothing profound, nothing funny, nothing witty, nothing to make you laugh or cry. Just stuff about my pain in the a$$ nose.

Send a story my way....one about your trip to Prime Care or the Emergency Room....tell me how it was....tell me so I can laugh with you that we're all still alive and God's not done with us yet!

*Update - I just heard from the Doctor's office. I have to wait until 4:30 on THURSDAY to get this damned thing out of my nose. Now I have a prescription for some antibiotics and Percocet...hopefully that will get me through these next three funner than fun days.

Dear Day of Getting Lots of Things Done!

My most proud accomplishment today is finishing this website. I know it's not crazy good, and I used a simple template - but it was a lot of work on my slower than green snot computer....and well, I think it's just fabulous. ;)

BTW...Jef-fur-rey....I need a new Mac. How 'bout this one? When we play and win the lotto? Or just because you love me?

In response to this article from woodtv.com

I don't know why I feel obligated to write about this, but for some reason, I just do. There are a few of those teachers out there that are special, a few of those teachers who make a difference in their students lives, and a few of those teachers who show you how to believe in yourself. For me, Tim Oonk was one of those teachers. He will always have my respect, dedication, and gratitude.

What has conspired is absolutely heartbreaking.
I'm actually getting teary as I write.

I know it's been a long time since I've been in school, and I know people can change for the better and sometimes the worse. I really don't know much about anything, and what I do know has come from rumors or former students.

A decade ago, Tim Oonk was a superb teacher. Many of us spent hours a day with him in Madrigals, Concert Choir, and Women's Ensemble. And some of us spent many more long hours with after school for drama. In these hours, he was always kind, professional, and dedicated to his students. He made us fall in love with music, he made us amazed at what the voice could do, and he made us better musicians and performers.

I personally knew a few students who Tim Oonk had a invested interest in. This interest was never inappropriate. It was simply, because of his kindness and compassion - these students felt comfortable enough with him to disclose important issues and problems of adolescence. He helped these students in a very professional way cope with issues such as divorce, peer relationships, and parental relationships. To many, he was more than a teacher - he was, I dare say, a counselor and a friend who genuinely cared for the welfare of his students. As a parent and a former student, I'm feel blessed that there were and are teachers like that.

I also do remember, even then, rumors would fly....kids talk, kids fabricate, kids who were on the "outside" didn't see or tell the truth.

With saying that, I am by no means defending what Tim Oonk has done if the allegations are true. And I have to remember that what he has "done" is not a criminal act. I am not excusing his current behavior or his behavior in the years that lead up to this situation. Through rumors and written word, I know he has had a few rough years dealing with substance abuse. And I am not so naive to believe that those type of addictions disappear over night. This can affect and change relationships deeply, and it can also skew judgment radically. It takes years to heal from a disease like that. Because of this, I am not discounting any of the claims made by his students former or current. I am however, asking for rumors to stop. I know how kids talk as I was once a kid, and obviously adults do it too, but the whole truth is not known. No man can judge the condition of the human heart. I truly want to believe that his actions were done in innocence with a laps, perhaps many lapses, of poor judgment.

In my opinion, Tim Oonk has made some poor decisions along the way, but he need not be burned at the stake for them.

What should his punishment be? Some help. Some people surrounding him with love with the intention of bringing healing into his life, marriage, relationships, and career.

I hope that the many people along Tim Oonk's path continue to journey with him through the mire and clay in his life....I hope that Tim Oonk is surrounded by people who love him....I hope that the complete truth will come out....I hope people will stop hurting....I hope that Tim Oonk will find the right road to walk down....I hope that this will all be redeemed.

Because this particular teacher had such an impact on who I am in life, my heart breaks for this man. I would be deeply saddened if my children did not have the opportunity to experience the joy and deep love for music that Tim Oonk brought to my life and the lives of many others.

Sincerely,
Jami Winstrom Vander Kooi
Zeeland High School Concert Choir 1990-1994
ZHS Madrigal Singers 1993-1994
Rapunzel and Marion the Librarian

*edited at 4:00 pm est

Dear Day of Good News,

You may or may not know that we've been dealing with a few little health "problems" with our boy. Well, today I FINALLY got a call back from his neurologist saying that the cyst in his brain (he has a 5mm cyst in the part of his brain that controls muscle function) doesn't seem to be growing, and we will see you again in 6 months for another MRI.
That is FABULOUS NEWS! Praise the Good LORD! Please continue to pray that there is no change in this tiny thing that isn't supposed to be there... or better yet, just pray that is disappears.


And one minor annoyance of the day....It drives me nuts when another parent says to your child (in your presence.) "Don't do that [insert your child's name], you're teaching [insert their child's name] bad things." First of all, if my child is doing something that they don't approve of, please tell me (hello, I'm right here!) Second of all, if I'm right there, and my kid is doing that "something" then it's probably something that I allow my child to do. Third of all, if they don't want their child doing it, don't blame my kid, please just train your own. (I don't mean to be harsh.)

Too bad the nice parents who do this never read this blog.

That's it. That's all I have to say about that.