Halloween

In my house, we don’t do Halloween.

Before you get your panties all in a bunch, hear me out. If I had been writing this 10 years ago, I probably would have gone all hell, fire, and brimstone on you, but over the years, I’ve learned about a thing called “grace.” I''ll be gentle and gracious with you, so please be gracious with me.

It doesn’t bother me if you decide to eat kosher, or vegetarian, or meatatarian. It doesn’t matter to me if you decide to cover your head when you pray, or cover yourself in jewelry. I'm not affected by decisions to celebrate Hanukkah instead of Christmas, or if you choose to celebrate Passover or Easter - even if you love Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny. I could care less if you love to decorate your house with brilliant orange and carve Jack-o-lanterns. That is absolutely fine with me, seriously. And that’s what I love about you...all our differences, all the things that are the same, and all the things we work through, on all different levels, because we’re all a part of humanity.

My intentions are just to fill you in on portions of my and my families life. This is what we do (or don’t); these are the decisions that we have made personally for us as a family unit. Simply, I’m just putting myself out there. I’m giving you a glimpse into my sometimes crazy and always joy-filled life.

So anyway, straight to the punch line.
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My 6 year old, the sweet bundle of blonde fire that she is, came home from piano lessons yesterday and announced to me the following, “Mom, Mrs. B said ‘Happy Halloween’ to me, and I told her that we don’t celebrate Halloween because it worships Satan and hell.”

I.was.mortified. Great. Now we sound all crazymatic...excuse me a minute while I go shout in tongues and spin wildly slain in the spirit. (If you really do that, by all means, no judgment on you either! :) ) Is that all she really got out of our talk yesterday? REALLY?! Am I raising little hell, fire, and brimstone dogmatics?

I think she got caught up in the small part of our talk about hell. We’ve never talked about that before which actually kind of surprised me. We talked about the angel, Lucifer, who fell from grace. I told her the story of the “Morning Star,” the brightness, the perfect beauty, who was created to guard the throne of God, however, he was created with free will. He could choose his own path. He was good and blameless until bad things were found in him.

What are those bad things?

I read her a passage in Isaiah chapter 14. "I will ascend to heaven; I will raise my throne above the stars of God; I will sit on the mount of assembly on the heights of Zaphon; I will ascend to the tops of the clouds, I will make myself like the Most High." Lucifer thought he was better than God. He didn’t want to be a servant to God, and he didn’t want to do what he was created to do. He chose the wrong path. I continued telling her that Satan wants us to serve and follow him, and that he tell us lies to get us to do bad things.

She was completely fascinated with the story. I saw a light go on inside her. In a childlike way, she is beginning to understand the real fight between principalities of darkness and light.

So where does Halloween come in?

I did not tell her that it worships Satan. I told her other stories in the Bible and gave her examples of where God was honored and worshiped. (We got into a big discussion about what it means to worship too. She even asked the question if we can be worshiped or if angels are worshiped. But that’s a whole other story!)
We talked about other holidays that we celebrate: about remembering the birthdays of Jesus and family and friends, celebrating love and the resurrection of Christ, giving Thanks and giving gifts. I realize that there are a multitude of twists within our list. Was Jesus really born on December 25? Was Santa Claus a real person? Why do we give gifts? Did Jesus resurrect on a Saturday night or a Sunday morning? Did the Pilgrims really invite the Indians to the feast? So on and so forth. Those things aren’t important. The importance lies in the redemptive nature of the celebration.

I explained that Halloween, as the way we as a family believe, has nothing good to offer. There is no “redemptive nature” in this holiday. What does that mean? Certain things in this life can be made good or restored to new. All those things we celebrate were in there beginnings or what they stand for now are good and can be used to honor God. Halloween simply does not do that no matter how we twist it. It’s origins are scary, and it’s still scary today. God doesn’t want us to be scared. Sure, there is absolutely nothing wrong with dressing up and eating candy, but we can’t control what it’s really all about. We just don’t do it.

This is were the discussion took it’s turn. “What makes Halloween something that doesn’t honor God?” This is were we talked about Satan and hell. Satan tells us lies; he tells us that it’s okay to let just a little “harmless” things in our lives. But sometimes, even the little things can grow into monsters in the dark. For us, to protect ourselves, and honestly to have a time to talk about the goodness of God, it’s better just to stay completely away from something like Halloween.

She came up with Halloween worshiping Satan and hell all on her own. I have a very smart girl there. Now to teach her more about grace. :)

Best In Show

Another question I've been asked: So what ARE YOU doing at a dog show?!? Have you become one of those crazy dog show people?

Did you ever see the movie "Best in Show?" Um, yeah - the dog show world is REALLY just like that. I'm not sure that "our kind" of people is represented in that movie (I'm not talking about ANY of the GERMAN SHEPHERD people. *wink, wink*), but many other lovely folks are! I would have added a few characters to the movie....(All fictitious of COURSE!)

• Jenny Monroe - A single frizzy haired lady in her mid 50's who continuously wears over sized shirts with embroidery of her particular breed. She is usually kind, and even tempered, however you might find her secretly poisoning the competitions water bowl.
• Marsha Hoberstalt - A 20 something professional handler who wears polyester suits with nylons on her spindly legs that are two shades darker than her pale skin. You'll find her with her dog's comb resting safely in her own greasy ponytail. Only if someone could give her a make-over...she might be beautiful.
• John Finklebard - A classy (in his own right) well respected gentleman in his early 60's. He always matches his outfits precisely; he wears a different color blazer and shoes each day of the week. A little bit quirky (he'd have to be to dress like that!), but knows absolutely everything about dogs.
• Michael Dugan - A handsome gay man who'd you hope to have as your eternal shopping buddy. Not only does he have a great sense of fashion and perfect hair, he also knows a lot about dogs too. Now why is he gay? So sorry ladies.
  

There, now that would make the movie complete.
AND THAT'S why we fell in love with the world of showing dogs. It's quirky, it's fun...it's so out-of-the-ordinary - it's so NOT ME or US, but we are in love.

In all seriousness, we have met some wonderful people! These folks are real, not ashamed of who they are, and very passionate about what they do. Sure, they might stab you in the back at some point of the game, but it's all okay, because they'll pick you up and dust you off later. They are the only people in the world who really understand our crazy dog dreams; they are supportive and have become like family. A crazy, silly, and sometime off-the-rocker-nuts and I-wish-I-could-shoot-you family....but a family at that. We love them for who they are, and we are grateful that they have accepted us as we are.

*just so you're not confused; yes, this post was on my other blog which I have now deleted...amending it slightly. Simplifying....it's so much nicer. :)

Impressions: Part II

I have one hour. One hour to breath normally. One hour to sit alone. One hour to write interrupted.
A friend of mine recently wrote a post that I really didn’t think resounded with me personally. I commend his bravery for giving a voice to his personal journey. Who am I, and what do I want to do with my life? I vaguely remember feeling like he did...I know I must have at one point in my life.

I thought I had it figured out, but I need to admit, sometimes I don’t.

I often get the question, “So, Jami, what do you do with your time? What do you DO?” I shrink back a little when I heard those words. Do you really want to know what I do? What rings through my head is my answer, “I’m [just] a mother. That’s it. That’s all I am.” I get disappointed in myself and slightly embarrassed when I hear stories from family (hello, husband) and friends....stories about amazing careers, traveling the world, serving people out of this little midwest corner....living big and large, what seems to me: life to the fullest. And, I - am just a mom.

Another question that eats me up is “How’s school going?” It’s not. I’m taking a break. “When are you going back?” I don’t know. Would you think of me as a failure if I never went back? I still don’t know what I want to do when I grow up - Maybe I would want to teach, and possibly I would want to write. In actuality, my life would go on happily if I never set foot into another classroom again; I would be okay with being what I am right now. Then the voices creep back in my head, “just a mother.” I am stuck and small.

When asked these questions, I want to so badly give a running commentary to justify my self worth. I want them to know that I spend hours a week doing other things than being just a mother. I would like to believe that they might even be amazed if I told them everything I do. And they would think I keep things together so well. But it doesn’t matter - not really, because underneath I am sometimes falling apart, and sometimes I am wishing I could just give up.

I know, I KNOW, that I am not just a mom - not really. I will not be average; average is not good enough. I want to be extraordinary. I want to put my whole heart into whatever it is that I do. I want to be the best wife I can be to my husband and the best mother to my children. I want to be reliable and stable. I want to be inspired and persevering. And I will hold it together.

So, what do I do? I AM a wife, and I AM a mother. I am very proud to be. Sometimes, I feel lonely and insignificant. Sometimes I feel embarrassed and unworthy. And often, I feel secretly overwhelmed. But then somehow, I am reminded...I am reminded of what an important job I have. I think God breaks my heart at just the right moments before I feel like I want to give up. He gently reminds me that I have the most amazing and important responsibility in the entire world. This is the impression that I want to give: I AM a mother, and by God's grace, I pray, an extraordinary one.

Blog Hibernation

Just for a while....I'll be back soon.